sleeping at last

This world is so ginormous. It's overwhelming. When I put music on and jump on the wondrous site StumbleUpon, I almost go into panic attack mode... there's the sudden and short-lasting realization of how little I am in the world. The millions upon millions of sites on the internet is unromantically comparable to the stars in the sky; when does it end? It's hard to put into words, but it comes with such an empty, stale emotion. A single person seems so immeasurable and unimportant and purpose almost gets drown out in a sea of fear; I get scared. Because it's a scary thing, right? It's like the moment you finally wrap your mind around Inception and then in a snap, the understanding gets whipped out of reach. For that split second, knowledge and understanding grabbed ahold of us and we thought we understood! But, it took us away from the peace of wonder and brought us into a flurry of fear because we're alone in that knowledge. Lucky for us, there's no way to find complete understanding in the world. No matter how hard we try or what lengths we go to reach it, we can never find it. We might get glimpses or hitchhike a ride along a path we may think will bring us to understanding, but it's all a waste. We can't have understanding and peace; it's almost a contradiction in itself. It's the acceptance of beauty and wonder in this ginormous world that makes it worthwhile and a true feat; understanding that God's beauty placed on this world can't be drawn out on a map with a key for the symbols alongside it. The key will keep changing and we get to have a place in that blind journey. It doesn't get much more exciting than that!